


The Hardest Part is Always Goodbye

by RandomGuygoesviral



Category: Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Fear, Fear of loss, Feels, Found Family, Found Family Dynamic, Goodbyes, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda, Loss, Panic Attacks, Survivor Guilt, Trauma, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomGuygoesviral/pseuds/RandomGuygoesviral
Summary: The day had finally come! If only Evan had known before hand the double meaning that phrase held.
Relationships: Roland Crane & Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	The Hardest Part is Always Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this miiiiiight have turned into a vent-ish type thing at the end there. Whoops?

The time had finally come. He… wasn’t entirely sure how to feel, honestly. Evan Pettiwisker Tildrum, King of the prosperous kingdom of Evermore, uniter of nations,  _ savior _ . That was him… of course it was. Even if at times he doubted his abilities. Especially times like these, right before big moments like the one he was facing. 

All his mind could focus on was the fact that the crown he was wearing was too big for his head but not big enough for his ears. He’d had to swivel them inwards to have the thing placed on his head, but the moment it had cleared them, it fell over his eyes. They didn’t have enough time to make it better, though, they’d hardly finished it in time for the ceremony in the first place. So he’d just have to deal with the way it had to be pressed firm against his forehead and slid back to stay up and how he had to strain his ears so the crown didn’t all but deafen him by scraping against them. 

That didn’t matter, though. No, now wasn’t the time. Queen Nerea and King Mausinger nudged him forward, smiles on their faces. Evan couldn’t help it but to flinch slightly, part of his mind still telling him that these people who had come to be his allies meant to hurt him. He quickly rid himself of that thought, however, instead stepping forward, a determined look sparking in his eyes. 

A beat passed and he drew his sword,  _ Mornstar _ , from his side with a flourish, pointing the blade upwards at the sky. It seemed to almost reach up to the sun, a sun that glimmered down upon him, and a smile lifted his cheeks. Small fangs, characteristic of grimalkin youth, peaked out from the corners of his mouth. He drew in a soft breath, steadying himself before he began.

“We come before you today,” he glanced back at the other rulers behind him,” to make a solemn oath in the presence of all our peoples!” This time he made the mistake of looking down at the massive crowd below him. Another breath.

Evan and the four other rulers hoisted their weapons almost like a toast, speaking in unison,” United we stand, as one single land!”    
The crowd below erupted into cheers. They were loud, excited, happy. It was the dawn of a new era! Of course they were excited! But… Evan couldn’t help but hiss softly as his ears flicked back, scraping against the crown and having it fall against his eyes. Loud sounds were not particularly kind to one with sensitive ears. Thankfully, the people were much too distracted by celebration to notice. Mausinger lifted the crown up with a smug smile and Evan simply rolled his eyes. 

Some time passed before he was able to slip away from the festivities, placing the stuffy crown on a statue (which he’d certainly get scolded by Bracken and Leander for doing). Almost on autopilot, he found himself playing around, darting in and out of the rooms of his castle. Like he did when he was a kid! Though… he  _ was _ still a kid, was he not? 

Evan poked into the throne room for a moment before dashing inside, a gleeful smile on his face, blissfully unaware,” There you are, Roland!” 

He felt his heart sink as he looked upon the older man’s form, sparkling with energy. Blue light flickered up and out of his body. Worst of all, he didn’t seem to be reacting to it at all! Roland seemed resigned, almost content with the situation at hand. Evan’s ears folded down, tail drooping low.

“I-is it?... Are you?...” his voice shook slightly as he took a step back.

Roland shook his head, a somber look in his eyes,” And here I was, hoping you wouldn’t have to see me like this… Ah… well, it seems like this is goodbye, isn’t it? I guess it’s about time I go back home, huh?”

“You…” the young king took another step back, shaking his head,” Y-you’re not- you aren’t going to- to stay? You aren’t going to stay with me?... A-after everything?”    
“Doesn’t seem that way. I can… feel it. It’s pulling me back.” 

Evan’s hands slipped up to his ears. He tugged them softly, shutting his eyes tight as he felt tears well in his eyes. His legs shook from under him and he felt his breath quicken. This couldn’t be happening- it couldn’t! Not after everything! Roland couldn’t possibly be leaving now! A beat passed and he felt his legs give way, sending him crumbling to the ground, shaking his head. 

“But your world is- but you  _ can’t _ it- it’s-” Evan looked at the ground, trying to grasp at straws, find some way to make it so this wasn’t happening,” Your world is gone- h-how can you- how can you p-possibly…” 

Roland kneeled down to him as Evan heaved out a sob. Eyes as kind and forgiving as they’d ever been, he gently- very gently, pulled the young boy’s hands off of his ears. He squeezed them softly. His eyes- that was always the way he looked at Evan. Everyone had a different way that Roland looked at them. There was always a competitive, stern, look for Batu, an impressed and curious one for Braken, a humored one for Tani, a compassionate one for Leander, and for Evan? Forgiveness, kindness, understanding.  **_Always_ ** . All it did now was make another sob rise from the boy's chest. 

“It was… destroyed before I came here, I know. And maybe when I go back all I’ll be met with is death and despair. But,” He smiled weakly,” I’ve built a kingdom up from nothing before, right? With you? So this time it’ll be easier. All because I learned from the best, right?” 

“B-but- Oh- Roland! What will we ever do without you? Wh-what will  _ I _ ever do without you? I-... I can’t be a good ruler without you here to guide me!” 

He reached out desperately as Roland stood, separating their hands.

“You’ve taught me a lot, Evan Pettiwisker Tildrum. I won’t forget it, not ever.” 

Roland stepped back, shutting his eyes. Blue light swarmed around him, engulfing him. As he continued to move back, the light grew stronger and stronger. Roland Crane became harder and harder to see. There was a smile on his face as he sunk backwards into nothing. Then, just before he had faded entirely from view…

“W-wait!” Evan surged to his feet, stumbling forward and trying desperately to grasp on to the fading form,” Wait! D-don’t go! Don’t leave me!  **_Dad!_ ** Please don’t leave me! Not again!” 

Of course, he found himself hugging nothing but thin air as his knees hit the floor beneath him once again. He pawed uselessly at the last particles of flickering blue light, desperate to keep at least a shred of Roland there with him. It was useless, though. He was gone. There was no undoing it, no take backs. He didn’t even properly get to say goodbye!

Evan’s breath hitched as he scrambled back, pushing himself against the side of his throne. Tears welled in his eyes as he buried his face deep into his cloak. It wasn’t like a king to cry! He shouldn’t have been crying! So why couldn’t he stop? His heart was racing, his body was shaking, he couldn’t  _ breathe- _ goodness! Why couldn’t he breathe? All he could do was tug at his ears until it hurt to think and sob, sob, and keep sobbing. He just couldn’t stop crying! 

It was fine! Everything was fine! Roland was still alive, surely he was, he was just… just gone! Just because he’d left Evan’s world didn’t mean he’d  _ died! _ It was okay- everything was okay! He just- he didn’t have the only person who’d stayed with him the entire time by his side anymore! That was okay- it was all okay! It  _ had _ to be okay! Rulers didn’t cry! Evan shouldn’t have been crying!

But, for some reason, just when he thought he was okay again… he wasn’t. He’d finally stopped crying, he’d managed to almost get ahold of his breathing. Yet… when he went to stand? There was a sharp pang in his chest that sent him to the ground again. Evan clutched the spot to no effect, only finding himself hyperventilating once more. Would it never end? 

Eventually, of course, people found him. He didn’t know how long he’d been there. Had hours passed or had mere moments? Evan didn’t even have the willpower to open his eyes to see who it was, and all the voices felt too far away to grasp. More time passed and he felt arms around him, lifting him up against someone’s chest. Leander, maybe? It was too lanky to be anyone else. Part of him wanted to hiss and bite and spit and get away from the touch because it felt like  _ burning _ . 

The rest of him leaned into it, all but clawing into this person to force the contact to stay. Don’t leave him, don’t leave him alone. Please stay! Was he saying these things or merely thinking them? He… he wasn’t quite sure! He wasn’t quite sure of anything.

_ … He felt himself fade from consciousness.  _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I'm in a server with any and all of the people who'd read this so like. Hi ;3c  
> What do you think? Don't be afraid to leave a kudos and a comment! They're always appreciated!


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